Staying friends with someone you met on a dating app askmen


Staying Friends With Someone You Met on a Dating App
He also suggests connecting with them on social media first to get a better sense of who they are before committing to a friendship. “This way, you'll be able to make an informed decision on whether you're actually willing to pour effort into building this connection and take on the role of a friend without any romantic motivations,” he adds.
Staying Friends With Someone You Met on a Dating App
Can You Really Stay Friends With Someone You Met on a Dating App?
September 17, 2022
The relationship between friendship and attraction can be a complex one. While many people go on to remain friends with their exes, and while some people successfully turn friendships into lasting relationships, if you’re trying to switch from one situation to the other, it’s easy for one party (or even both) to end up with hurt feelings.
So what about when it comes to someone you just met on a dating app and don’t know very well yet? You might not exactly click on a romantic level, but you just met a cool new person and you'd like to stay in touch in some capacity. Is it possible to navigate that in a way that leaves everyone happy?
In order to help differentiate a great new friendship from impending emotional drama, AskMen spoke to a couple of experts. Here’s what they had to say about whether you should keep a match in your life as a friend:
Why Stay Friends With Someone You Met on a Dating App?
Sam Nabil, CEO and lead therapist at Naya Clinics, says that it’s always a good idea to grow your circle of friends, especially considering the impact of the pandemic on social connection.
Just because you didn’t connect with your date on a romantic level doesn’t mean that you didn’t experience emotional connection. According to Nabil, we have emotional reactions towards people we have no intentions of being romantically involved with on a regular basis.
“Every emotional response from interacting with a new person can be nurtured into a deeper connection such as a friendship,” he says. “Keeping your dating app match as a friend affords you a new person to socially interact with, bond with, learn from, and share common interests with.”
This is all positive in theory, but things can get a bit more complicated in practice.
Potential Pitfalls of Befriending People You Met on Dating Apps
It’s rare, says Kevin Darné, the author of Online Dating Avoid the Catfish!: How to Date Online Successfully and Pump Your Brakes! How to Stop Having Bad First Dates, “for two people who met on a dating app to become genuine platonic friends who encourage one another to find happiness with someone else.”
“There is always the risk of someone harboring resentment for not being chosen,” he explains.
In other words, staying friends has to be mutual. But when you meet on a platform designed to date or hook up, the odds of being on the same page about maintaining a friendship aren’t necessarily super high. Plus, it’s common for people to suggest staying friends as a “consolation prize” when they are not interested but don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings.
Darné recommends staying away from those types of offers — ones where “the person making it does so in order to feel less of a ‘bad guy’ for rejecting the other,” he says. “Rarely is it a situation where both people realize they didn't click. One person usually feels rejected — and no one wants to be friend-zoned.”
This means that you should also be honest with yourself about your own intentions when considering a friendship with someone you met on a dating app. Are you trying to let them down easy or are you genuinely interested in building a friendship?
There is another factor to keep in mind: People tend to put their best foot forward on dating apps, says Nabil: “We're all hardwired to leave a good impression on others whenever possible, therefore, it may take more time for you to truly know who your new friend really is and whether they're worth keeping in your life.”
“Should they show their true colors and you've determined that they're not a good fit to be in your social circle, you'll be faced with the challenge of choosing between accepting every part of them (the good and the bad) or making the painful decision to end the connection and deal with all the wasted effort in building that new friendship.”
How to Decide Whether to Stay Friends or Not
If you’re on the fence about whether you really want a friendship out of your dating app connection, Nabil recommends asking yourself if you’ll be able to practice the duties of a friend for this person. “Building a friendship entails keeping in touch, meeting up now and then, and doing activities together that friends do,” he says.
He also suggests connecting with them on social media first to get a better sense of who they are before committing to a friendship. “This way, you'll be able to make an informed decision on whether you're actually willing to pour effort into building this connection and take on the role of a friend without any romantic motivations,” he adds.
Finally, if you actually have feelings for someone and they suggest staying friends, don’t do it. It’s not worth the heartache. “When you realize someone is unable or unwilling to meet your needs it is usually best to move on and wish them well,” says Darné.
You Might Also Dig:

  
Signs You’re More of a Friend, Not a Boyfriend
  
Can You Date Someone After Being Friends First?
  
What She's Thinking When She Friendzones You