Online dating apps dating multiple people or just one at a time glamour


In Defense of Dating Only One Person at a Time
My own approach to dating is pretty much the exact opposite. I'm more of a single-target operator. I've never been a fan of dating multiple people at the same time. I prefer to meet someone and focus my attention on her, even if only for a date or two, and see if there's any chemistry. Obviously this reduces my total number of potential matches, but I don't really see that as problematic. I've always felt that wide-net dating practices tend to dilute your ability to make a decision.
In Defense of Dating Only One Person at a Time
I have a friend who approaches dating like job networking. A few months after he broke up with his girlfriend, he began looking for his next relationship in a way that can best be described as running for office. He signed up for dating apps, hit up social events, and put the word out to every friend, coworker, and well-wisher within a 50-mile radius that he was single and looking. His reasoning was that dating is a numbers game, and to find the right person, you should cast your net as wide as possible. He'll go on multiple dates with multiple people a week hoping to find one clear winner, like a real-life version of The Bachelor. My own approach to dating is pretty much the exact opposite. I'm more of a single-target operator. I've never been a fan of dating multiple people at the same time. I prefer to meet someone and focus my attention on her, even if only for a date or two, and see if there's any chemistry. Obviously this reduces my total number of potential matches, but I don't really see that as problematic. I've always felt that wide-net dating practices tend to dilute your
August 21, 2015
I have a friend who approaches dating like job networking. A few months after he broke up with his girlfriend, he began looking for his next relationship in a way that can best be described as running for office. He signed up for dating apps, hit up social events, and put the word out to every friend, coworker, and well-wisher within a 50-mile radius that he was single and looking. His reasoning was that dating is a numbers game, and to find the right person, you should cast your net as wide as possible. He'll go on multiple dates with multiple people a week hoping to find one clear winner, like a real-life version of The Bachelor.
My own approach to dating is pretty much the exact opposite. I'm more of a single-target operator. I've never been a fan of dating multiple people at the same time. I prefer to meet someone and focus my attention on her, even if only for a date or two, and see if there's any chemistry. Obviously this reduces my total number of potential matches, but I don't really see that as problematic. I've always felt that wide-net dating practices tend to dilute your ability to make a decision.
As of now, both my friend and I are still single, so I guess neither of us can claim to have the superior method. But I did want to make an argument (plea?) for the single-target method. The biggest reason that I don't like dating more than one person at a time is that it fosters what I like to call channel-surfing syndrome. You know how, when you have 200 channels on TV, you end up surfing through *all *of them? To paraphrase Jerry Seinfeld, you're not looking for what's on, you're looking for what else is on. I feel like it's the same with dating. When you go for the blitzkrieg approach, a lot of people are never happy with what they find because they never know what they might encounter the next day.
Now, I realize that I'm running against the current on this one, and I also realize that stacking up dates every week is a skill unto itself. If it works for you, wonderful. I just happen to feel that if you're just one of many options someone has, you might not work that hard to connect. For me dating shouldn't feel like a competition—it should be something far more nuanced and, dare I say it, a little bit romantic.